Learning to love yourself

I stumbled onto Louise L. Hay's Amazon.com page, like I sometimes do, and my eyes were caught by a book I've seen before; the Love Yourself, Heal Your Life Workbook. Looking in it makes me sad. I realise that loving myself still doesn't come easy. Or even naturally. It's one of the things that seem to move in spirals - when I think I have learned to love and accept myself, something happens that challenges that self love. The journey deepens, the path winds ever closer to the centre of my being; to the most deeply wounded places. It is only natural, but it's painful, and it's sad to learn how I still struggle with such a simple thing: self-love, self-acceptance.

Some people seem to just love themselves; it seems to simple for them, so natural. I envy them. I didn't grow up feeling unconditional love - it may have been there, but I always felt that there were conditions that had to be met - and I have never felt unconditional love for myself, nor been able to understand how anyone else could love me unconditionally. When I love, I love unconditionally and freely - it doesn't mean I do everything right by the people I love or that I am able to always let that love guide me - but I apparently still don't believe that the same thing could be extended to me.

Reading Louise L. Hay's foreword to Love Yourself... I feel sad. I want to love myself, I want to accept myself in a way that means I won't lash out from a place of frustration and pain, I want to heal myself with love. And I can't believe how hard it is, or how I don't really know how to learn to love myself. I thought I had come so far, and yet, here I am.

Our subconscious mind accepts whatever we choose to believe. The Universal Power never judges or criticizes us. It only accepts us at our own value. If you accept a limiting belief, then it will become the truth for you. If you believe that you’re too short, too fat, too thin, too tall, too smart, not smart enough, too rich, too poor, or incapable of forming relationships, then those beliefs will become true for you.

I want to believe that I am beautiful and smart, and that I am lovable and worth loving - but when I feel that I can't or don't know how to do it, I limit myself. I do. I am aware of that. Have you any idea of how frustrating it is to be aware of the "wrong" thought and still not be able to shake it off? When I try to change it, there is always the doubt that maybe I'm just fooling myself with the affirmations. What if? What if I am, in fact, not beautiful, or smart, or lovable? Am I only deluding myself? That what if is something I haven't yet understood how to bypass.

Remember that we’re dealing with thoughts, and thoughts can be changed. We have unlimited choices about what we can think, and the point of power is always in the present moment.

This I know, and I hope to figure out how. It's time for another round of self-worth work. Yes, I ordered the book, and a number of others, and will give them a serious try when I get them. And in the meantime really try to break the negative thought patterns and drown the negative voices. Every thought I think creates my future.

The greatest love of all

Is easy to achieve

Learning to love yourself

It is the greatest love of all

~Greatest Love of All, Whitney Houston

Note: The beautiful picture above isn't mine, and no copyright infringement is intended. You can find this, and several other amazing, affirming and empowering art pieces in Patricia Omoqui's store.