I'm so tired and exhausted that it feels like every nerve is raw, every emotion too close to the surface; almost like having been turned inside out. For almost a week now I've felt like I'm having the worst PMT (without a period), and I feel so weepy it's crazy. My circle sisters and lovelies know just how not weepy I am, but not now. I could almost burst into tears for no reason at all - or for any reason. This is not like me. It's not bad though, just unfamiliar.
It may just be a Very Good Thing that I've finally dived deep into the sea of emotions, gently bobbing on its waves and feeling the strong, currents in its depths, that so exatly mirror my own emotions. I've surely taken my time to go with Domnu, but here I am, Lady. Perhaps I should revisit the place She brought me to in that meditation in Chalice Well two years ago; the space that echoed with the energy of the Caer Sidi, a cavelike space outside of time and place which appears to be at the centre of all dimensions and from which I will be able to move freely between them. Perhaps this is just another nudge from the Lady that it is about time I come back and get to work.
Still, the feeling of having suddenly been turned inside out and wearing my emotions without protective walls, is not entirely pleasant; and yes, what a challenge!
1 comment:
As the saying goes, "Tears cleanse the soul." I'm not above crying in front of people, as you well know, but I do often have difficulty letting myself cry. Quite often when I feel tears well up I feel the lump in my throat which is the screaming that wants to come out. I still haven't been able to let it go. Something to work on really.
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