Caer Sidi

This is not the dark cave any more

Although it is still dark, the walls shimmer with crystals

This is Caer Sidi, the place of spiralling

The interdimensional crossroads

Where all ends meet and part and meet again

Dark Lady, you bring me here, bring me ever deeper

Spiralling outside of time and space

Going deeper and yet higher

Into the very centre

If I could see you, Lady, I might kneel before you and ask what you want from me

But I can't, and you are not in front of me, but behind me

Watching my back in the dark as I, stumbling, find my way forward

Passing through chambers from memory and halls of future dreams

You remind me that I only ever have to reach out, and You are there

Walking through long-lost memories I open old wounds to heal

and although I feel lost and alone in the dark again

This is the place where everything comes together

And I will walk from the darkness of the lowest dungeon into Danu's crystal cave

The place of Dreaming, where I can rest in the Stillness before rebirth

And Dream the future into being

Dream Love

In the spiralling castle, outside of space and time

Dream meets reality, and I walk through the corridors of sleep

I will hail Rhiannon as I near Her presence

And find myself once more in Her deep red Hall

In the darkness I search not for the light of day, but for the light of Love

My torch, my beacon

This is the way to the Mirroring, when I open my eyes and find the Soul Mate

When I open my heart again

© Lisa Isaksson, December 12, 2009

17 going on 35

17 going on 35 - that's how I feel; a grown-up teenage. Older on the outside than on the inside, almost growing younger as I age. Young and old at the same time, a young adult with an ancient soul.
I know I am an old soul, that I (partly) chose to come back to this life to learn to just live. To learn to love, break down the barriers to my heart and finally be healed, thorougly and completely. I pray that I will find that love, that I will allow myself to be loved in the same way that I love - unconditionally, in deep colour.

It feels funny, this teenager thing. Like I'm finally waiting for that big first love, the all-encompassing love, passionate, consuming, the one that will change my emotional makeup forever. I feel like I'm waiting to experience love as reborn, as the person I've turned into. To turn a new leaf, break through the chrysalis and spread my wings like a butterfly.

I long to be recklessly, hopelessly infatuated, to feel my heart flutter at the thought of him, to feel my stomach full of butterflies, to feel my knees buckle when he brushes my hair aside and kisses that soft spot on my throat just below the ear.

I want him to make me go crazy with desire, waves of passion rippling through our bodies, our hearts beating in unison. Forever young at heart.