Blind loyalty

I’ve been thinking about this with blind faith, blind loyalty, love is blind. I don’t believe in doing things blindly; I think there’s a danger to that. Of course, sometimes we have to trust faith, and step into the unknown just hoping that it will work. But honestly, I never do so lightly, never without hesitation, never trusting fortune completely. I doubt, I resist, but I surrender. I do it without knowing what will come – blindly, in that sense – but hoping that I can deal with what comes. Because I’ve  prepare as best I can, before; I’ve considered scenarios and done what I can to give fortune a chance. Sometimes I even enjoy not knowing, and having to surrender control, but I’ve always given it some consideration and decided that it’s worth it. Blindly? Not really. Trusting, more like it. Trusting in spite of not knowing, trusting something higher to help, and trusting myself to handle what may come.

My faith in Goddess is deep, but is it blind? No. And it’s not unwavering. I doubt, I question, I rebel, but I surrender, and I trust Her to be there, as I know She is. And as I know, I don’t have to believe it. I know. 

And my faith is not in some perfect deity, not in trusting that all will always be well. I walk Her path knowing that it’s not perfect, as I’m not perfect, as nothing in Nature is perfect. We don’t know what may come. But it is what it is. Maybe that’s perfection. And it’s how my faith is; I may resist, question, and go into things kicking and screaming, but  I surrender. I do it. I take Her hand.  

Blind loyalty, now there’s something I don’t trust at all. I think it’s dangerous when people obey and are loyal without questioning, without thinking and reflecting upon who they are loyal to. People who are blindly loyal are easily manipulated, and we see it all the time. It’s fundamental to any sect culture, whether it is religious, political, success/self-development… It’s how atrocities are commited in the name of a God or a leader or an ideology. It’s not sane.

In faith and religious contexts, as well as in politics and activism, I have witnessed blind loyalty, and how it can destroy something that was once good. We all know how power can corrupt, and that people who follow without questioning build leaderships who will not be questioned. That climate will cause fraction and discord, and will break apart communities. The blindly loyal won’t accept voices of dissent. They will regard that as disloyalty, when in fact it may be the deepest loyalty to the cause and the people behind it. And leaders raised by blindly loyal may even become blinded by them. A good leader doesn’t need blindly loyal followers, they need clear-sighted equals who dare speak up and question. 

I’m deeply loyal to people I trust and love, but never blindly so. I’m clear-sightedly loyal. I see their flaws, I don’t stand behind things that I don’t agree with, I question when they do harm or demand the unreasonable; I never buy into the whole package. My loyalty is to a person, not all of their actions and opinions. I think for myself. I agree to the reasonable, but I will never give up my free will and free path. I won’t trust you just because you are who you are, I don’t take orders, I have a free mind and free spirit that won’t be controlled. This makes me a poor follower, but a good friend. A good and loyal equal. I may stand behind you, but I will not walk behind you. I will walk next to you, or my own path. And I won’t compromise my own truth.

Love. Love is blind. But is it, really? Does it have to be? Blind love is a lot like blind loyalty; it’s blind, unthinking, unreflecting. It doesn’t see the flaws. I do, even in deepest love. If I love you, I love you in spite of your flaws. And there are things that even love cannot bridge, that even love cannot approve of. Even then, I may love you even though I cannot accept what you do. Acceptance is the key to whether love is enough. “Accept the things I cannot change…”

For me, love isn’t blind, but accepting. 

Who will heal the healer?

From fulfilment to emptiness, from bliss to loneliness, from a feeling of being in the flow to a feeling of being set apart, removed. Every time.

This has been a strange week, or little-more-than-a-week. Spiritually speaking, a gateopener, or maybe rather a floodgateopener. I felt called to do work with Goddess, to channel Her light and energy, Her healing, and without having to think about it, did. And it's easy, effortless. Because I am just a vessel, a conduit, it doesn't drain me at all, as long as I keep my intention clear and unmarred by ego. And I do. And it's the most amazing thing, realising how easy it is to rise above ego and to, well, Priestess, embody, channel, whatever you want to call it. It is not for my sake or my gain, which makes the channel crystal clear. Beautiful, amazing work, and I am deeply humbled and honoured to be called to do it.

And it is opening up an interesting channel of communication, crystal clear: eye to eye, mind to mind, spirit to spirit, heart to heart. So clear that it is almos painful in its beauty, even though it isn't all open yet. But it will be. An immense gift!

What has been draining is the protection and shielding I was also, and pretty acutely, called to do for myself and others. Unexpected and quite shocking. But that, too, was a learning experience; the challenge of doing it with grace and love instead of holding up a shielding mirror to send back. (That part is not up to me.) The challenge of speaking my truth as softly as I can, knowing that it would hurt. The clarity of working with Goddess spreads across many facets of my life, and reveals the truth. Which isn't always pleasant, for anyone. The trick is to always do it from a place of love.

And meanwhile, there is my own journey. A most clearsighted Sister gave me the final clue this week in shining a light on what I knew but had failed to really feel. Pieces falling into place, leading to a major breakthrough when I suddenly knew exactly what to do. There is still a process of healing, further breaking through, and empowerment to go through, but it is well under way.

This week-or-so has reminded me of the work I am called here to do, and the immense joy of doing it. The sense of everything being right – in the flow, in my body, aligned with Spirit and Goddess, serving Her by shining Her light, like I once asked and promised to do – and a feeling of a door opening. I need more of this. Not for me as much as for the fact this is who I am and what I am called to do. Denying it would only stunt me.

But… Coming down is still as hard as when I travelled back and forth to Glastonbury and my training circle, gradually learning to hold Goddess's energy for longer times at a stretch and then landing in the mundanity of my normal life in Sweden. It always left me feeling very small, empty, and lonely. And it still does. I'm still struggling with how to sustain this spark, this light within in the everyday. Is that even possible? Or desired? I know that it shines a light on the dark, wounded spots that need to be brought into the light for healing, and even though that aspect of this path is painful, I embrace it. But the feeling of being set apart is hard; having essentially no one with whom to share this leaves me very lonely.

In a sense, this is how it is supposed to be: I come into my power alone, I am mostly a solitary practitioner, and the way in which The Lady of Avalon claimed me for Her and initiated me was in a very lonely setting. In complete solitude, entirely surrendering to Her.

But it's still hard, as no one here knows Avalon, knows the language I speak. These are the times when I miss being in a Circle of Sisters (and Brothers) and sharing. I miss people who know, who won't look to me for guidance or answers, but who listen and already know the nature of the path. A place where I can just receive, where I can be healed and held. It will come, and in the meantime I am held by the Great Mother, and my darling Sisters, wonderful weavers of the web of Sisterhood. But it is the constant question, isn't it: Who will heal the healer?

A reminder of how precious life is

A friend of mine died two days ago. Not died as in died permanently, but she died on the operating table during a short routine procedure. She ceased breathing, her heart stopped and she had to be shocked back to life. Thank Goddess for that extra amount of energy that, together with her own life force and determination, brought her back. Her time has not come yet.

The thing is, we know that she may not have indefinite time, but surely not this soon. Because of a persistent cold, I haven't been able to see her for a long time, as I can't risk infecting her with anything, and I want to see her. I can feel that there are still things left for her to do, to see, to experience, and I am so grateful that she is here, and not on the meadows of the Summer Land.

But it is a powerful reminder of how precious and short life is. In the blink of an eye, everything can change; everything can end as we know it. That makes mindfulness and a presence in the here and now so much more important; to live life to the fullest, each and every minute of it. I am once again humbled by the greatness of life and the mystery with which Goddess works.

From winter to spring; Yule to Imbolc

I only just realised that the dance workshop I was doing today starts at 11 am, not 12 as I thought. It's not like me to make that sort of mistake, so I guess some part of me really didn't want to do it. I feel a bit miffed, as it's a really stupid mistake, but at the same time, very free. The sun is beaming down on the snow, and although it's still cold, there's a trace of spring.

I have the strangest and most amazing feeling today, right at the pit of my stomach. It's a very strong sense of positive anticipation, of bliss, of light energy rising and vibrating. If I close my eyes I feel like I'm back in Glastonbury, because that's where I have felt like this. It's Goddess. It's transformation and healing and Love. It is the lightness of release, the strange buzz of change. It is a new beginning on a new day. It is Light returning and Life reborn. It is Bridie kindling Her fire.

Today I make the transition from Yule to Imbolc. Winter has been long and harsh here in the North, and the cold darkness and despair almost stifling. But it is changing now, rapidly. The energy shifted from Danu and the stillness of death before rebirth already around Christmas, to instead resemble that of Arhianrod and, even more so, of Skadi, the Scandinavian/Norse Goddess of winter.

To me, Skadi's energy touches on both Danu's and Bridie's, but is still different. She is the Ice Queen, regal in demeanour, the still, beautiful coldness of the Northern Star and the aurora borealis; She is harsh, unrelenting and still soft and beautiful - as changing as the northern winter. She is a Huntress, accompanied by wolves, who knows how to survive even the toughest winter and who will ride out any storm; She is an embodiment of strength, courage and justice; She is the womb of the waiting for rebirth. There is precious little room for weakness in the harsh northern winter, and I have felt that strongly in my life this winter, but there is a gentleness and protectiveness to be found with Skadi, and with Arhianrod and Danu. The thick fur of the wolf offers warmth, Goddess offers protection and strength.

I now feel that Skadi is riding further north again, leaving room for another Huntress: Bridie. It's strange, I never know what aspect of Bridie will be stronger for each year, and have still to experience the Maiden, or even the Girl aspect. My inner child is healing and growing, but it's like that as she does, she integrates with me so that there is really no division, no separate child part of me. I can relate to Bridie more as a fiery huntress, the healer, the fighter, the bringer of justice who asks me to walk through fire to burn away the dross and bring out that golden core of my Self. And, at times, as the poet, seer and bringer of truths. Which is not an entirely pleasant part to play.

But I also feel the presence of the Sami Goddess Rana-Neida (in some dialects spelled Rana Niejta), who brings spring to the mountains. In Sami mythology, Sala Niejta, the daughter of the sun, removes the snow and the polar night and her sister Rana Neida, daughter of the earth, turns bud into leaf and fills the land with greenery. She is in many ways, a fertility Goddess, much like Flora or Freya, and I've seen Her painted with the small birds, much like my beloved Rhiannon. But I also feel an energy that reminds me of Artemis. The Sami Goddesses in general seem more fiery, intense, than most of the Greek and Roman Goddesses. Maybe that's just because I have a more direct connection with them; an energetic connection rather than the knowledge of reading about them as a child.

Rana has been around me for years, in various forms; she appears as a crone-like shamanka who wanders around me, muttering and beating Her drum, and ancestor watching over me. For a long time, that was all I knew about Her, as She didn't seem interested in communicating with the healers I worked with, and I didn't know how to communicate with Her.

Then something shifted, in Glastonbury, during the course of my training circle. As I affirmed Rana's presence in my life and among my guides and protectors, it was as if She stood taller, grew younger and stronger. Her presence was more than an ancestor, and I am still not sure what "ancestor" means in this context as I haven't been given more than that. Maybe it just means that She is one of the Grandmothers, as I've had confirmed. It wasn't until a year and a half, or maybe two years, ago that I learned Her full name, Rana-Neida, and that She is a Goddess. Daughter of the land, daughter of the green fields.

Spring is on its way, and I feel the energy rising in me again. Did I finally break through the bottom of the cauldron? I am full of love, and vibrating.

Julie Felix video from the 2007 Goddess Conference

A few nights ago I was browsing YouTube and found this video:

Julie Felix 2007

www.youtube.com

A rare and touching outdoor performance by Julie Felix - filmed by Phil Day

It's the amazing Julie Felix singing "She reminds me of who I am" on Chalice Hill during the Crone conference in Glastonbury 2007. After Chalice Hill, we all moved over Bushy Coombe for the bonfire. I see several of my darling sisters in this video, and I think I was sitting somewhere around where the photographer was or behind that. Singing in harmonies with some sisters.

This video came at a time when I felt very homesick and indeed yearning for Avalon. It's been years since I was back, and I can only pray that I have a chance to return this year. I'm longing to feel Her land under my feet again, to lie down in the circle of Morgens in the Temple, to see the Goddess Hall, to sit under the apple tree in Chalice Well gardens and drink from the red and white springs, to visit Gog and Magog, stand on top of the Tor, tie a ribbon to the holy thorn on Wearyall Hill and spend time with my Goddess sisters and brothers. To step out of the trivialities and mundanities of normal life, that grow so big and take so much time and energy, but that just aren't important. When I step into the strange cauldron that is Glastonbury Avalon, it's like the important things in life come to the fore and the rest falls behind. I still wish I could do the same here.

I'm hoping for a miracle so I can go to the Lover conference in August. In the meantime, I stay in touch with my sisters and brothers, and gratefully accept any little picture or sign from my most beloved spiritual home. I need to go back, and to recharge my batteries, who are running so low, but will do what I can here. Nothing prevents me from doing ceremony here, from meditating and journeying with Her.

Last night, I dreamt I was walking down one of the country lanes just above Bove Town, and it was just so vivid! I know the place in my entire body; my energy calls to the energy there, to my roots. It's like tapping into the earth root, that goes deep beyond words. I need Goddess now, I need my connection to Her, to the Land. I guess I know what I'm doing tonight...

Bridie's Song

I am Bridie, flower fire

Rising in the lightening hour

Fierce and loving, wild and free

I've come to take you home with me

Home to truth and your own power

Home to healing and delight

Home to knowledge, home to seeing

If you will receive my light

I touch you with my lightning rod

Your defenses fall apart

Tearing down your fears, conditioning

Cutting through control and barrier

Earth is trembling, structures falling

Beliefs are shattered, knowledge questioned

Empty and barren, your world falls apart

Doubt and pain grip your heart

But you will rise again in glory

Reclaiming what was once your power

You will rise and I will guide you

To the light, like a springtime flower

I touch you with my fiery rod

And the dross is burned away

All that was falls down in cinders

You walk through fire to be free

Molten fire in your body

Power rising through the pain

Fears and sorrow touched by fire

Your golden source revealed again

And you will rise out of the ashes

Like the Phoenix, wild and free

You will rise in new-born wonder

I will guide you, come with me

I touch you with my healing rod

And life is sparked anew

Healing flowing through your life-source

Joy of child and Mother's touch

Re-membering the broken pieces

Recalling all your ancient power

Receive my healing and be whole

And when you're whole - you'll heal for me

For you will rise in truth and knowing

Light and laughter, sweet compassion

You will rise to healing, seeing

You will guide your sisters home

I touch you with my willow rod

Rod of quickening, white with power

You fall apart, disintegrated

Through fire you walk to be transformed

Open your heart and let me touch you

Open to healing and rebirth

Own your power and your beauty

Speak your truth and heal the Earth

For you will rise in golden glory

To stand in power and shine your light

You will rise and be my Priestess

As Maiden, Lover, Mother, Crone

Come, sweet child ...

© Lisa Isaksson, Imbolc 2007

Stuck in a rut

Just a few days ago I felt so positive about planning for a change in my work, about taking the challenge of losing "my" author and turning it into an opportunity for Goddess work, for doing things that fuel my passion and creativity. And now... I feel stuck in a rut. Like I mentally can't get over this huge wall. Resistance has kicked in BIG time, and is accompanied by two companions: procrastination and doubt. I doubt myself a lot. I doubt that whatever changes I make, whatever dreams I have, can come true enough to support me. And guess what - I get in my own way, I stand in the way of my dreams. By getting stuck with the "how" of things, with how to make my dreams happen, I forget to dream the dream, and I most certainly don't do the work. And it frustrates me. Because while I do doubt myself, I know the power of intention.

I'm so understimulated right now that it's driving me nuts. I see people moving on with their lives; new opportunities, new trainings and courses, new jobs; I see them going from strength to strength, from challenge to opportunity, from dream to reality. I am happy and absolutely thrilled with them and for them - and for a while it fuels me, too. And then, I slump back into the improductive haze of self-doubt. Into stasis. And when I start to look into why I do that, I find a lot of things - and not just the initial thought that I'm being lazy: I'm so tired that I can't really express it in words; my self-doubt is not just about doubt, but about worthiness, fear, and other underlying issues. It's not that I'm lazy and don't want to do the work, it's more that I can't figure out what to do and how to start. If someone was to ask me the right questions, of course I might be able to find the answers, but I don't seem to be that someone. I can't seem to find the questions. But part of me mentally whacks me over the head and says that I'm making pitiful excuses and am in fact just being lazy.

I guess it's safe to say I could really do with a mental/work/life coach. Someone who can help me move forward, not delve deeper into the issues at hand and what they are about, like I would in therapy. (I sososo miss my therapist, though! And I probably could do with some digging.) But where do you find someone who might be willing to do the work for (almost) free? I pretty much can't do anything that involves a cost, which leaves very few options.

There is so much I want to do, and I can't even sit myself down and start jotting down exactly what it is that I really want to do with my life. I don't even give myself a chance to start dreaming the dream, and how am I supposed to live it if I can't even think of it?

Yes, Samhain is approaching. I think part of my resistance can have something to do with the feeling of a BIG transformation waiting just around the corner. And yet I am so ready for change. I am. I welcome Keridwen, I want to dive into Her Cauldron of Transformation, I want to be swept away in a vortex of change. I'm resisting, but that doesn't mean I don't want the change or that I don't want to be transformed. I just can't get the chrysalis to burst open. I'm waiting, wings folded, to break free from this life that has grown too small for me.

Barley moon

It was a dark and stormy night...

Well, it does get dark early now, already before 9pm it's dark outside. When did the endless summer nights end and autumn creep in on us? And it is quite stormy, too.

The rain stopped, so I went for a walk, a full moon walk. In all honesty, I didn't expect to see the moon because it's so cloudy, but it seems the storm has torn apart the clouds, which were chasing each other across the sky, and across the moon. Dramatic, dark clouds that rush past the full face of the moon, dark centres and silvery and goldy edges against the lit backdrop of the sky, is just amazing. Awe-inspiring. And it's surprisingly mild outside. Still some of the summer warmth.

It's nice to walk under the full moon, soak in the moonlight, feel my soul singing in unison with the moon's powerful energy. I realise how I've thirsted for this for so long; thirsting for something I'd almost forgotten I needed, and now... I come alive again. My body is singing, every cell suddenly awake and rejuvenated. I inhale the light, the Mother's energy emanating from the moon; I feel my Priestess self stirring restlessly, growing inside of me. That part of myself is re-surfacing, it is soon time to step it up, to take the next step and claim my place. For Her.

Goddess is with me and inside of me, Her Divine energy all around. When I move my fingers, it's like they ripple through the energy, I feel it rising from the earth and moving. I feel it. I touch it. I breathe it. I am it.

Tears rising in my eyes, the oceans in my body rising to the full moon, called by Selene. I feel whole again, safe in the elements, the wind ruffling my hair and catching my breath. I've missed this so much, and I didn't even know. I miss Avalon, but right here, right now - this is Avalon. The mists have parted, just like the clouds parted to reveal the glorious moon. Her beauty makes me want to weep with joy, with gratitude, with love. I am so happy to be alive in this very moment.

I know. This will pass. But it won't go away. I cannot deny who I am, I cannot deny the power rising inside, the calling. The Lady is calling me home, to serve, to guide, to remember who I am so I can shine Her light and speak Her words. I know what I have promised, and I am not backing down. I am scared, I am intimidated, I doubt myself - but I don't doubt Her. She will guide me.

I may not be able to continue my training this year, either. I can barely pay my bills and taxes as it is, and the future looks too risky for me to dare take any chances. Part of me scolds me for not trusting Her enough, tells me to just dive in and trust Goddess to provide for me. To surrender the outcome to Her. This is the voice that says what I am afraid others may think; people who would judge me for not giving up everything for Goddess and just trust Her.
Another part, and a much stronger one, says that I am doing the responsible thing by looking after myself and the things I need to prioritise. What good would it do to go back into training and then stress and worry myself sick over money? Goddess doesn't need me stressful and anxious. There is surrender and surrender; there are times when surrendering can be irresponsible. This feels like one of them.

I am torn between what I want - to go back to Glastonbury regularly to continue the training there, to have the full on experience again - and what I feel is the right thing to do. Two different energies: what I want is this jittery, bubbly excitement; to do the right thing, be responsible, is a calmer but stronger energy. Like the little waves on the river surface compared to the powerful, invisible and strong undercurrent. I hate not being able to do it now, not even by correspondence, but it feels like the Lady wants me to take the next step in a different way. Unless something dramatically changes in the next month, that is. Like winning the lottery or coming upon a huge amount of money.

I don't think She's asking me to take the next step entirely alone, though. There are people here who have expressed an interest in ceremonies, festivals, maybe even a workshop. And I've already had the outlines to a full year of regular workshops coming together since my dedication, almost two years ago. As well as four moon ceremonies over the year, linking the moon's four faces to the wheel of the year - those I wrote during the Litha training weekend, in July 2007. Being a ceremonialist feels strangely natural to me. It's just the logistics and the timing that need to be worked out now. And they will work out.

Bit by bit, it's coming together. And the dance is a part of it, of course, as it always has been.

I would have SO wanted to be able to contribute with something for the Lover conference, but what can I do that no-one else isn't already doing, and better than me? At least I will be there. Hopefully, I may even go back home to Glastonbury at some point before that.

Even the thought of going back, walking those streets and lanes that I know so well that I can close my eyes and feel them, to see the Tor again, to be in the Temple, to sit down under the apple tree in Chalice Well, feel my roots reconnecting to the Earth-root and the Source... it makes me smile in excitement.

I breathe in moonlight and rest in the arms of Goddess

Image belonging to Josephine Wall. No copyright infringement intended.

Turned inside out

I'm so tired and exhausted that it feels like every nerve is raw, every emotion too close to the surface; almost like having been turned inside out. For almost a week now I've felt like I'm having the worst PMT (without a period), and I feel so weepy it's crazy. My circle sisters and lovelies know just how not weepy I am, but not now. I could almost burst into tears for no reason at all - or for any reason. This is not like me. It's not bad though, just unfamiliar.

It may just be a Very Good Thing that I've finally dived deep into the sea of emotions, gently bobbing on its waves and feeling the strong, currents in its depths, that so exatly mirror my own emotions. I've surely taken my time to go with Domnu, but here I am, Lady. Perhaps I should revisit the place She brought me to in that meditation in Chalice Well two years ago; the space that echoed with the energy of the Caer Sidi, a cavelike space outside of time and place which appears to be at the centre of all dimensions and from which I will be able to move freely between them. Perhaps this is just another nudge from the Lady that it is about time I come back and get to work.

Still, the feeling of having suddenly been turned inside out and wearing my emotions without protective walls, is not entirely pleasant; and yes, what a challenge!

Prejudice

At times I'm amazed at the prejudice that some people have. It's not just Christians that are prejudiced against Pagans, but other Pagans have a whole lot of prejudice against us "Goddessians" (a term for Goddess followers that I first read in Medusa Coils). I don't define myself as Pagan, but as a Goddess follower or "Goddessian" as that is a much more apt description of what I am, spiritually.

I recently met a young Pagan man, who is active in Ásatrú. Being Swedish, this is not uncommon for a Northern Pagan, but it's a path that has never ever called to me, mostly because of how patriarchal it is. But he's very openminded and has friends on many other Pagan paths, including some Goddess worshipping female friends. But apparently, there seems to be some very strange preconceived notions about us Goddessians even among other women on similar paths. One of his female friends who is a Goddess follower, or daughter of Gaia, as he put it, actually cautioned him when he went out with me on a sort of date. She said that "we" (meaning what?) have been known to prod little holes in condoms to secretly make ourselves pregnant with men without them ever finding out. What kind of idiotic prejudice is that?!

If I wanted to have a child, I don't think I'd have to lie or deceive any man to get what I want. Come on, it's usually only too easy to get it, if that's what you want. But I don't want "a child"; I want a family and for that I won't just do with any man. The comment still bothers me. Is that really what people think about Goddess-loving women?

I don't think any of my Avalon sisters, who follow the same spiritual path that I do, would recognise that description. For me, deception and lies go against what I believe in, what I stand for. What I feel that the Lady of Avalon stands for. To be true to myself and my path, and to stand in my power, I can't lie. That would only weaken myself, deny my power and light, compromise everything I try to live by.

Though some may call me a witch just because of my life path and beliefs, I am not a witch in the sense of being Wicca. I have absolutely nothing against Wicca or wiccans, but it's just not my path. Nor do I do magic, and I would never ever deal with black magic or use magic to force my will on someone. I don't have the bigger perspective needed to see clearly and fully what any magic would affect, and I definitely would not want to take responsibility for the problems that could be caused by using magic.
Think about the man who wished for a lot of money and who got it, but as an inheritance from his favourite aunt. Her death was not what he had wished for, or wanted, but he hadn't counted on the possible consequences of his wish. I wouldn't take that kind of risk by trying to bend the universe to my will.

What magic I work is by intention, by asking the Lady and the other Goddesses that I follow for their energy, and by putting my earnest and most sincere wishes into what I want - and ask for the highest good. Just like I do when I do healing work, or any other energy work for that matter. I can only put my intention and earnest well-wishes into what I want and hope to manifest it; I can't force it. And I do work with manifestation, with trying to create what I want by energy and intention. Goddess willing, it will be manifest. Which is a whole lot different from working with magic, whether white or black. Once again, I don't say anything against those who use magic, I'm merely stating my point and explaining why I don't. We are each responsible for our own choices and actions.

But the prejudice, I guess, is something I will always face in one way or another. This time it was unexpected and even more so coming from another Goddess follower. C'est la vie.