Make me good, but not yet

I'm not a very good person. I try, and it's not like I go out of my way to be mean or do wrong against others; I don't wish death on anyone (although I sometimes see plastic sheets in their future) and I would never use black magic or use rituals to do harm. But I think bad thoughts about people and sometimes I do wish bad things on them. Karma does its work, but sometimes karma just isn't fast enough.

I can be a bitch; I can be a real bitch. Mess with the people I care about and I'll show you bitchy; mess with and I may seem strangely forgiving, but I can hold a grudge like you've never seen one held before.

I sometimes think that I should be kinder, less given to bitchiness and ill thought, but the thing is that I like thinking ill thoughts, I like being a bitch - sometimes, not all the time. It's an effective release, a vent, a way of letting out steam. I mean no real harm, and it's just thoughts, words. (The real hitlist is in fact very short.) So until I feel that I'm free from my need to let off steam, I can tolerate not being good through and through.

So make me good, but not yet. And not too good. It's the imperfections that give us flavour.

~ Lisa on the move, posted from BlogPress