I'm beginning to wonder whether the root of all my problems now is simply exhaustion. Haven't slept properly in 4? 5? 6 months, haven't had a single day without feeling worried about income since my former publisher announced that they would end their fantasy line (thus cutting my yearly income by half in one blow) a year ago. I feel drained, and have done since August, September some time. But even though I am careful not to overbook myself, I never get the chance to get really rested, recharge my batteries, and come back to my normal self. Partly because there are always things to do, money and work to worry about, and the constant awareness that I need to make a change but not being able to find the stillness and focus to do so, or the energy; and partly because I don't know how to recharge my batteries. How do I relax? How do I find a chance to come back in the midst of all this normal life? I don't know how to do it. Any advice would be ever so appreciated!
I am almost constantly exhausted, and the exhaustion lowers my resistance to negative thoughts and makes me incredibly vulnerable to other people's criticism and mood swings, as well as making me anxious. Or perhaps it just lowers my anxiety threshold and resistance to anxiety. Anyhow, it all seems to completely cover the true me. I miss me.
1 comment:
Valerian tea always seems to give me a night of better sleep. Sometimes just getting a few nights proper sleep can help you to cope easier with the anxiety of trying to earn money!
I have spent too many times in similar situations, am in one now too. I have stood in the middle of my home & asked my home to protect me and you know what, I really feel it works. Even though trying to get through each month financially is hard, I do feel supported by my lovely old home. It's pretty old, and needs more attention, but I thank it every day for keeping me dry and safe and try my best to keep it looking clean and sweet.
Soaking your pillow with lavender works too and I did read that vetiver works really well but I havent tried that. A slug of brandy also helps me!! Take care, you are a very corageous person to put yourself out into the www like this, the world needs more honest people like you, your blog is lovely. When we are all stressing at night maybe we should all arrange to astral travel and meet in some otherworldly coffee shop for a latte and danish?!
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